Monday, March 30, 2009

Marley&Me

"A Dog has no use for fancy cars, or big homes, or designer clothes. A walk along the street, will do just fine. A dog doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb… Give him your heart, and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special… How many people can make you feel... extraordinary." -fave quote from this movie

Saturday, March 28, 2009

All the Way

When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you - all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way

Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes - if its real

When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in between years - come what may

Who know where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you - all the way, all the way

(as performed by Frank Sinatra and Celine Dion)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

There is NEVER any reason to be unkind. -Ravi Zacharias

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Last night after I got home from a family function, I was going through all the usual pre-bedtime rituals and all of a sudden I was enveloped in a very sad mood. I was thinking about how sweet it was for Mr. C to initiate a huge party for Mrs C...and my thoughts drifted to how much he loves and cherishes her. Then I thought about my friend D, whose husband S had a hot bath ready for her when she got home from work one night last week, complete with candles and soft music. And I thought about my lawyer’s husband who was at her baby shower on Friday and how much he obviously loves her and holds her in the highest regard.

I have a real soft spot for husbands who are radically in love with their wives and not afraid to show it. Husbands who say things like, "I want to take care of my health so I don't miss one day on earth with my wife." Husbands who bring their wife a cup of tea in the evening when she's watching TV, not because she asked, but just to bless her. Husbands who never utter an unkind or negative word about their wife to others. And they're not trying to make an impression but really truly live their love for their wives in everyday life in little, almost effortless, ways that are completely foreign to me. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone treat me with such honor.

And I know these marriages aren't perfect - two imperfect human beings living under the same roof will always experience their share of tiffs and disagreements. The difference is that these couples don't focus on the differences but on their love for and commitment to each other and the respect for the bond of marriage that causes them to put their differences aside and focus on being one.

On one hand I'm happy with my life the way it is. I have freedom to come and go as I please. I don't have little kids to worry about or a husband to check in with. I can be spontaneous in meeting someone for dinner or going shopping or whatever. I can watch whatever I want on TV, eat whenever and whatever I want without worrying about feeding someone else, and pretty much do as I please. Yet as content as I am in that respect, there's still a part of me that wants someone in my life that will love me with abandon...and I would return that love in the same manner. I would love to be reminded at some point in my life what it's like to be loved, cherished, respected, and a little spoiled.

I don't know if God will give me a second chance at being loved, cherished, respected, honored, affirmed, edified, and blessed. But it is a deep, long-abiding desire of my heart to experience this, to know what it's like, to not be alone anymore but share my life with my soulmate. I feel a sense of urgent need for a husband and family unit.

Monday, March 16, 2009

wisdom is..

There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidance of this pain is the beginning of wisdom, for it is strong enough to contaminate the rest of our lives. -Cyril Connolly

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Why do men just disappear?

(source: poshrat - http://forums.plentyoffish.com/1900782datingPostpage3.aspx ... for my own reference so reproducing it here in full...)


He's playing you because he can..that's it pure and simple Lass. For him it's a confirmation his 'technique' still works, and he likes to keep in practice using you as his 'sounding board'

No doubt he boasts to his buddies he can 'have you any time he wants', and uses the same pretty phrases on every lass he meets just to prove it to himself as well.

Men are easy to understand in that respect..you bruised his ego by walking, he is getting back at you for as long as you will let him..and if you have fallen for the line 'Let's do it one more time for old times sake' he'll just keep coming back for more.

Once you realise which head is attracted to you, you'll realise the other one is just saying what you want to hear..is that clear enough?

OT..I think the main problem of why men walk without SAYING why..comes back to the case of the vanishing chivalry and Gentlemanly behaviour..they haven't been taught how to.

Too much emphasis on the Man being the Hunter..and developing his technique to get a girl, and a complete loss of what to do next once he's got one..and more importantly, how do depart gracefully if she isn't what he was seeking in the first place!

Men are physical beings for the most part. They are attracted to the appearance of a Lass, and , sad to say, the USUAL first thought is how to 'conquer ' her resistance and bed her.( Okay guys don't all protest that isn't so in your case..I am just trying to simplify things a little here for the ladies who have undergone the normal proceedure)

IF he succeeds early in the game...and it is a game, try and understand that fact..then he is faced with complications.Either she was darned good in bed and he has to make some form of commitment to keep her..or she thought he was damned good, and she sees it as a commitment to her.

Either way...he is now in a situation too deep to extract himself from easily. Visions of tearful sessions, guilt trips laid on him (ie you only wanted me for my body etc) and all the other Hollywood, TV drama scenes come to his mind..so he opts for the classic 'riding off into the sunset ending, leaving the heroine stoically biting her lip, and waving once he is too far away to see her tears.

The other scenario of course, is that his well tried and well worn technique doesn't succeed in bedding his intended in the time space he alloted, ergo she isn't his sort of woman, and just about any reason/excuse is enough for him to off and search again for a more willing conquest...again..no word of why..or at best maybe hints of boredom when with her, and mumbled promises of 'I'll call you later in the week' etc.

Men are simple to understand , Ladies. They put a lot of effort into baiting the hook, playing the line and securing the catch, once they have overcome fear of rejection..which takes a lot out of them to begin with.
Once the fish is on the hook, so to speak they now have to go through another learning process..and have to come to a decision...either pull it on board and that's it for fishing any more...another long involved learning curve...or cut the line and let it go....and the easy way out is the one they normally choose!

Yes..I was guilty of such behaviour 'when I was a lad'..until my very Victorian Father found out and chewed my ears off for such 'un-gentlemanly manners'!

As he made quite clear ..ending an involvement is never easy, but it takes a MAN to be able to do it gracefully...only BOYS run away when the going gets tough.
It's Friday the 13th, but the irony is - my mind is filled with beautiful thoughts... like these poetical thoughts I just read:

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.
- Claudia Ghandi

---

Is It You?

“The man of my dreams has almost faded now.
The one I have created in my mind.
The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest
and most secret reaches of her heart.
I can almost see him now before me.
What would I say to him, if he were really here?
Forgive me, I have never known this feeling . . .
I’ve lived without it all my life.
Is it any wonder, then, that I failed to
recognize you?
You . . . who brought it to me for the first time.
Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed?
Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me?
There is so much to say . . . I cannot find the words.
Except for these. . .
I love you.
Such would I say to him,
. . . if he were really here.”

---

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in
Itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
I love you because I know no other way than this

-Pablo Neruda

---

So true...
love is not death or dying
it is an eternal awakening

Friday, March 13, 2009

Just wondering why this would happen... was busy explaining to this guy why I couldnt see him again... he heard me out and confessed how heartbroken he was. The following week he kept asking for my opinion on things (via email), and I answered each email as briefly as I could. Finally I relented and told him we could continue seeing each other.

Then he disappeared.

??????????????

---


Overheard today:

Miss B: I'm tired of men coming on to me when all I want to have is a quiet drink. How do I say "Fuck Off" in a polite way?

Smart-Ass friend: "Fuck off... please."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

March 9th

There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. - Gretchen Kemp

Monday, March 2, 2009

quote

"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."

- Anna Louise Strong

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I seem unable to indulge in that most relieving of emotions - self-pity... I'm going through what's supposed to be the single most trying time of my life, yet squeezing out a single tear is the most arduous of tasks.

Yet it's supposed to be healthy. I need to pour out those emotions so that I dont end up indulging in self-destructive behavior...

A whole year has gone by and .... nothing.

Then a couple of days ago I decided to get caught up on Grey's Anatomy ... what is it about this series that opens up those silent streams every time? I dont get it.