Monday, March 16, 2009
wisdom is..
There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidance of this pain is the beginning of wisdom, for it is strong enough to contaminate the rest of our lives. -Cyril Connolly
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Why do men just disappear?
(source: poshrat - http://forums.plentyoffish.com/1900782datingPostpage3.aspx ... for my own reference so reproducing it here in full...)
He's playing you because he can..that's it pure and simple Lass. For him it's a confirmation his 'technique' still works, and he likes to keep in practice using you as his 'sounding board'
No doubt he boasts to his buddies he can 'have you any time he wants', and uses the same pretty phrases on every lass he meets just to prove it to himself as well.
Men are easy to understand in that respect..you bruised his ego by walking, he is getting back at you for as long as you will let him..and if you have fallen for the line 'Let's do it one more time for old times sake' he'll just keep coming back for more.
Once you realise which head is attracted to you, you'll realise the other one is just saying what you want to hear..is that clear enough?
OT..I think the main problem of why men walk without SAYING why..comes back to the case of the vanishing chivalry and Gentlemanly behaviour..they haven't been taught how to.
Too much emphasis on the Man being the Hunter..and developing his technique to get a girl, and a complete loss of what to do next once he's got one..and more importantly, how do depart gracefully if she isn't what he was seeking in the first place!
Men are physical beings for the most part. They are attracted to the appearance of a Lass, and , sad to say, the USUAL first thought is how to 'conquer ' her resistance and bed her.( Okay guys don't all protest that isn't so in your case..I am just trying to simplify things a little here for the ladies who have undergone the normal proceedure)
IF he succeeds early in the game...and it is a game, try and understand that fact..then he is faced with complications.Either she was darned good in bed and he has to make some form of commitment to keep her..or she thought he was damned good, and she sees it as a commitment to her.
Either way...he is now in a situation too deep to extract himself from easily. Visions of tearful sessions, guilt trips laid on him (ie you only wanted me for my body etc) and all the other Hollywood, TV drama scenes come to his mind..so he opts for the classic 'riding off into the sunset ending, leaving the heroine stoically biting her lip, and waving once he is too far away to see her tears.
The other scenario of course, is that his well tried and well worn technique doesn't succeed in bedding his intended in the time space he alloted, ergo she isn't his sort of woman, and just about any reason/excuse is enough for him to off and search again for a more willing conquest...again..no word of why..or at best maybe hints of boredom when with her, and mumbled promises of 'I'll call you later in the week' etc.
Men are simple to understand , Ladies. They put a lot of effort into baiting the hook, playing the line and securing the catch, once they have overcome fear of rejection..which takes a lot out of them to begin with.
Once the fish is on the hook, so to speak they now have to go through another learning process..and have to come to a decision...either pull it on board and that's it for fishing any more...another long involved learning curve...or cut the line and let it go....and the easy way out is the one they normally choose!
Yes..I was guilty of such behaviour 'when I was a lad'..until my very Victorian Father found out and chewed my ears off for such 'un-gentlemanly manners'!
As he made quite clear ..ending an involvement is never easy, but it takes a MAN to be able to do it gracefully...only BOYS run away when the going gets tough.
He's playing you because he can..that's it pure and simple Lass. For him it's a confirmation his 'technique' still works, and he likes to keep in practice using you as his 'sounding board'
No doubt he boasts to his buddies he can 'have you any time he wants', and uses the same pretty phrases on every lass he meets just to prove it to himself as well.
Men are easy to understand in that respect..you bruised his ego by walking, he is getting back at you for as long as you will let him..and if you have fallen for the line 'Let's do it one more time for old times sake' he'll just keep coming back for more.
Once you realise which head is attracted to you, you'll realise the other one is just saying what you want to hear..is that clear enough?
OT..I think the main problem of why men walk without SAYING why..comes back to the case of the vanishing chivalry and Gentlemanly behaviour..they haven't been taught how to.
Too much emphasis on the Man being the Hunter..and developing his technique to get a girl, and a complete loss of what to do next once he's got one..and more importantly, how do depart gracefully if she isn't what he was seeking in the first place!
Men are physical beings for the most part. They are attracted to the appearance of a Lass, and , sad to say, the USUAL first thought is how to 'conquer ' her resistance and bed her.( Okay guys don't all protest that isn't so in your case..I am just trying to simplify things a little here for the ladies who have undergone the normal proceedure)
IF he succeeds early in the game...and it is a game, try and understand that fact..then he is faced with complications.Either she was darned good in bed and he has to make some form of commitment to keep her..or she thought he was damned good, and she sees it as a commitment to her.
Either way...he is now in a situation too deep to extract himself from easily. Visions of tearful sessions, guilt trips laid on him (ie you only wanted me for my body etc) and all the other Hollywood, TV drama scenes come to his mind..so he opts for the classic 'riding off into the sunset ending, leaving the heroine stoically biting her lip, and waving once he is too far away to see her tears.
The other scenario of course, is that his well tried and well worn technique doesn't succeed in bedding his intended in the time space he alloted, ergo she isn't his sort of woman, and just about any reason/excuse is enough for him to off and search again for a more willing conquest...again..no word of why..or at best maybe hints of boredom when with her, and mumbled promises of 'I'll call you later in the week' etc.
Men are simple to understand , Ladies. They put a lot of effort into baiting the hook, playing the line and securing the catch, once they have overcome fear of rejection..which takes a lot out of them to begin with.
Once the fish is on the hook, so to speak they now have to go through another learning process..and have to come to a decision...either pull it on board and that's it for fishing any more...another long involved learning curve...or cut the line and let it go....and the easy way out is the one they normally choose!
Yes..I was guilty of such behaviour 'when I was a lad'..until my very Victorian Father found out and chewed my ears off for such 'un-gentlemanly manners'!
As he made quite clear ..ending an involvement is never easy, but it takes a MAN to be able to do it gracefully...only BOYS run away when the going gets tough.
It's Friday the 13th, but the irony is - my mind is filled with beautiful thoughts... like these poetical thoughts I just read:
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.
- Claudia Ghandi
---
Is It You?
“The man of my dreams has almost faded now.
The one I have created in my mind.
The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest
and most secret reaches of her heart.
I can almost see him now before me.
What would I say to him, if he were really here?
Forgive me, I have never known this feeling . . .
I’ve lived without it all my life.
Is it any wonder, then, that I failed to
recognize you?
You . . . who brought it to me for the first time.
Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed?
Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me?
There is so much to say . . . I cannot find the words.
Except for these. . .
I love you.
Such would I say to him,
. . . if he were really here.”
---
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in
Itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
I love you because I know no other way than this
-Pablo Neruda
---
So true...
love is not death or dying
it is an eternal awakening
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.
- Claudia Ghandi
---
Is It You?
“The man of my dreams has almost faded now.
The one I have created in my mind.
The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest
and most secret reaches of her heart.
I can almost see him now before me.
What would I say to him, if he were really here?
Forgive me, I have never known this feeling . . .
I’ve lived without it all my life.
Is it any wonder, then, that I failed to
recognize you?
You . . . who brought it to me for the first time.
Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed?
Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me?
There is so much to say . . . I cannot find the words.
Except for these. . .
I love you.
Such would I say to him,
. . . if he were really here.”
---
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in
Itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
I love you because I know no other way than this
-Pablo Neruda
---
So true...
love is not death or dying
it is an eternal awakening
Friday, March 13, 2009
Just wondering why this would happen... was busy explaining to this guy why I couldnt see him again... he heard me out and confessed how heartbroken he was. The following week he kept asking for my opinion on things (via email), and I answered each email as briefly as I could. Finally I relented and told him we could continue seeing each other.
Then he disappeared.
??????????????
---
Overheard today:
Miss B: I'm tired of men coming on to me when all I want to have is a quiet drink. How do I say "Fuck Off" in a polite way?
Smart-Ass friend: "Fuck off... please."
Then he disappeared.
??????????????
---
Overheard today:
Miss B: I'm tired of men coming on to me when all I want to have is a quiet drink. How do I say "Fuck Off" in a polite way?
Smart-Ass friend: "Fuck off... please."
Thursday, March 12, 2009
March 9th
There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. - Gretchen Kemp
Monday, March 2, 2009
quote
"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."
- Anna Louise Strong
- Anna Louise Strong
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I seem unable to indulge in that most relieving of emotions - self-pity... I'm going through what's supposed to be the single most trying time of my life, yet squeezing out a single tear is the most arduous of tasks.
Yet it's supposed to be healthy. I need to pour out those emotions so that I dont end up indulging in self-destructive behavior...
A whole year has gone by and .... nothing.
Then a couple of days ago I decided to get caught up on Grey's Anatomy ... what is it about this series that opens up those silent streams every time? I dont get it.
Yet it's supposed to be healthy. I need to pour out those emotions so that I dont end up indulging in self-destructive behavior...
A whole year has gone by and .... nothing.
Then a couple of days ago I decided to get caught up on Grey's Anatomy ... what is it about this series that opens up those silent streams every time? I dont get it.
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