Wednesday, February 25, 2009

a few laughs... cynics sometimes make my day

Watch - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7N5Sa62pDk and make sure you really appreciate the beauty and depth of the words,

then read the first comment by gabsta123 below it. DONT read the comment first. For maximum effect, make sure you listen closely the the words of the song.

(some additional hilarity from the exchange between AndreaSPitaim and astralotustslm below that)

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here's one circulating on Facebook/email...

Jaluo drives into a service station in his battered , Volkswagen clad in shorts, All-Stars, funky beard and i-spoti(small hat). He hands the attendant the keys complete with a beautiful Tupac key ring:

JALUO: "jasa tank-Super" (jaluo means fill up the tank!)

Attendant: "How much?"

JALUO: "Omera adwaro petrol mar super full tank?" - Meaning, hey I said fill up the tank!

Attendant: "I only speak English!"

JALUO: "No problem. Good day to you Sir. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propellant of my motorized vehicle. Therefore, I cordially request you to transfer, from your subterranean reservoir, a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim."

Attendant: "YAWA?"

Jaluo: "Do you have a problem Sir? I thought you said you spoke only English?"

Attendant: "English? That is not English!"

JALUO: "My dear Sir, are you veritably attempting to insinuate that you do not even recognise the language which you allege to be your singular means of communication?

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Having a really good day.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bored at work and chatted a bit... Just typed a phrase and waited for response over and over... Hilarious little bot...

Also got beaten in 10 seconds flat....

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Rent in full

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following typed note

Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I love valentine's... really gives some good pointers insofaras who's for you and who's around just to have a good time.

Some pleasant surprises... some disappointments... but it's all good...as they say - all's fair in love and war.

Broke up again today - seems to be becoming a rather unpleasant habit, but at least this time I had the good sense to draw the line where it needed to be drawn. Learning... and growing.

So now the year can finally begin.

Some thoughts:
A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.
Paul Bourget.

Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.
Mary Cholmondeley

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."
D.H.Lawrence

and my own (perhaps cynical) observation... Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. MONEY makes the world go round.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Mad about Owen Wilson

Been seeing posters of 'Marley & me' about town and not a hint of when it's going to be showing... dying to see this movie... it's been a while since I had a good laugh and Owen Wilson really tickles my funny-bone. Every time. He makes 'goofy' look cool.

Love his mad mop of blonde wavy hair, his cocky half-smile, his blase take on life's grave topics....

The perpetual hint of mischief that hangs about him...

This one should be good. Nice to see that he's resurfaced, after that sad episode in 2007.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Quick tips on surviving Valentine's after a breakup

If you're like me, you're dreading Valentine's Day because it really intensifies feelings of what could have been, who's he with now, wondering where he's planning on taking her, whether he's thinking of me and a myriad other thoughts. Especially since I don't anticipate having a date because I've turned down everyone who's asked coz I don't feel up to it and no one seems good enough to compensate for my ex.

I found some quick tips to get through the day and added a few of my own:

1. Do not think about if he's with someone else. You don’t know for sure, so there's no point to daydreaming about it. It's pure self-torture so why bother doing this to yourself. Bottom line is - it’s just plain self-defeating and a total waste of time. If you start having those thoughts FORCE yourself to think of something else. Distract yourself.

2. Remember it's just a holiday that was created for monetary reasons (consumerism). These card and chocolate companies, stationary, department and jewelry stores make a killing on Valentines Day.

Who is this Valentine dude anyway?

3. If it's going to upset you then don’t go to any Valentine's Day functions. Just ignore the entire day and night.

Be in a state of denial.

Do something fun that has nothing to do with romance on that day. Get a massage; go buy a new outfit without looking at the price, then binge on your favorite junk food and work it off at the gym; go to a movie you would never dare go to because it's below your intelligence (wear shades though); on your way home buy the Metro, True Love, Hello and Drum (or whatever your fave read is) and read about all the celebrity break ups and divorces over a warm mug of Drinking Chocolate. You'll feel like a million dollars afterwards. By the time you do all of this Valentines day will be over.

4. If you do accept a date, do not, I repeat, do not start comparing other men to your ex or the guy you're trying to get over. This is like poison to the brain. Just be in the here and now, and right here and right now your ex is not around so don't give him the satisfaction of thinking about him. That whole thinking about your ex while you're with a new man is so self defeating and devaluing to the new man you're with. As that great singer said, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with!!"

5. Work extra-long, hard hours on the eve of Valentine's... you'll be too obsessed with sleep the following day to notice the passage of time and only too relieved to plonk yourself in bed at the end of the day without a single thought of missing out on the evening's potentially missed niceties.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S.............

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Towards the end of last year i met this person who would seem to really turn my fortunes around - you know how it feels when you meet someone who gives your ex such a BURNOUT that you pray it works and one day you meet your ex when you are doing so well with your new catch and your ex is barely getting by... yeah, that fantasy...

Yeah, so things were going pretty well in this new scenario.. that is, till yesterday, when he had to take a longish trip and promised to call once he arrived. Then he didnt... then i got into a tailspin about why did he bother to promise to call if he wasnt planning to, and a whole rollercoaster of not-so-sober thoughts, coz 4real - I liked this guy - for a change. Normally I get into relationships (well, more like friendships coz I never go the whole hog) coz I'm 'being nice' without really appreciating what the guy has to offer... but this guy - I liked...

I got played. I mustve missed the signs.

Well, the Internet has 'answers' to everything so I did a search on "why men say they'll call, then they dont" and came across this interesting site... didnt really sort my situation... but I got lots of laughs out of it...

Sunday, February 1, 2009