Last night after I got home from a family function, I was going through all the usual pre-bedtime rituals and all of a sudden I was enveloped in a very sad mood. I was thinking about how sweet it was for Mr. C to initiate a huge party for Mrs C...and my thoughts drifted to how much he loves and cherishes her. Then I thought about my friend D, whose husband S had a hot bath ready for her when she got home from work one night last week, complete with candles and soft music. And I thought about my lawyer’s husband who was at her baby shower on Friday and how much he obviously loves her and holds her in the highest regard.

I have a real soft spot for husbands who are radically in love with their wives and not afraid to show it. Husbands who say things like, "I want to take care of my health so I don't miss one day on earth with my wife." Husbands who bring their wife a cup of tea in the evening when she's watching TV, not because she asked, but just to bless her. Husbands who never utter an unkind or negative word about their wife to others. And they're not trying to make an impression but really truly live their love for their wives in everyday life in little, almost effortless, ways that are completely foreign to me. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone treat me with such honor.

And I know these marriages aren't perfect - two imperfect human beings living under the same roof will always experience their share of tiffs and disagreements. The difference is that these couples don't focus on the differences but on their love for and commitment to each other and the respect for the bond of marriage that causes them to put their differences aside and focus on being one.

On one hand I'm happy with my life the way it is. I have freedom to come and go as I please. I don't have little kids to worry about or a husband to check in with. I can be spontaneous in meeting someone for dinner or going shopping or whatever. I can watch whatever I want on TV, eat whenever and whatever I want without worrying about feeding someone else, and pretty much do as I please. Yet as content as I am in that respect, there's still a part of me that wants someone in my life that will love me with abandon...and I would return that love in the same manner. I would love to be reminded at some point in my life what it's like to be loved, cherished, respected, and a little spoiled.

I don't know if God will give me a second chance at being loved, cherished, respected, honored, affirmed, edified, and blessed. But it is a deep, long-abiding desire of my heart to experience this, to know what it's like, to not be alone anymore but share my life with my soulmate. I feel a sense of urgent need for a husband and family unit.